Know Thyself

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When I was young, I often wondered who I’d become. Who will be my partner? What will I do in the world? Will I be a dancer, an artist, an actor, a teacher? Who will my friends be? Where will I live?

I assumed my future would be full of joy and love—surrounded by friends and family, living the life I was meant for. It never occurred to me that I could grow up and live a life misaligned with my soul.

As I grew, I became curious about why I sometimes acted against my own heart. Why did I say that? Why did I do that? Why do I feel this way? 

The shame of realizing I could live contrary to my essence was confusing and heavy.

I think I became a therapist in part because I wanted to understand myself. In counseling grad school, the first thing they’ll tell you is that’s the wrong reason. I understand why—they warn you not to work your own wounds out through others. 

And yet, why does any of us choose our calling? A lawyer seeks to argue and reason. An astronaut longs to explore the cosmos. A physician longs to heal the body. A pastor seeks to shepherd souls.

Of course I became a therapist. I am, at heart, a scientist and investigator. I was (and remain) deeply curious about why human beings are the way we are. What better way to learn than to devote myself to both study and practice? And in the process, I discovered more about myself—and humanity—than I could have imagined.

One of the most sacred practices I’ve gathered is the devotion of self-inquiry. Not tied to a single model or modality, it is a weaving of wisdom from many teachers, traditions, and texts. 

If you’d like to explore, I’m curating a living library for The Healer’s Codex: Discover the living library at terimurphy.com/library

I begin with the simplest of maxims: Know Thyself.

This ancient inscription at Delphi—echoed in Plato’s dialogues—invites us into the cave of inner seeing.

But what does it mean to “know” the Self?

Albert Einstein once said, “All knowledge is experience. The rest is just information.” I agree. To know myself, I must experience myself—stay with my thoughts, my feelings, my actions, and reflect honestly. Always a student. Nerds will be nerds!

Let me share one practice that marked me deeply.

In reading Maureen Murdock’s The Heroine’s Journey (a MUST READ, also in the Codex Library https://www.terimurphy.com/library), I encountered a guided vision:

I entered a wood and came to a stream, flowing gently west to east. Looking into the water, I saw my reflection. To my left stood every past version of me—baby, child, teen, young mother—all smiling, curious. To my right stood every future version of me, silver-haired and radiant at the end. All smiling, too. Many, and yet the same.

Ahead of me arched a stone bridge into a quiet village, which led to a mountain wood and, at last, a cave. Inside sat a silver-haired woman in linen robes, waiting for me in serene stillness. Her eyes were deep and warm. She was me—the me I would become.

She invited me to ask one question. 

I asked: “What do I do when I need guidance?”

She drew from her robes a mirror edged with golden roses. 

Handing it to me, she said:

“Whenever you are in need of guidance, 

you need only to look in the mirror and ask."

And I understood: 

The answers I seek are already here, within the mirror of my own soul.

I carry her mirror still. After that vision, I found a gilded mirror edged in roses for my desk. It reminds me: when I’m tempted to seek external authority, I can turn inward. The mirror teaches me that clarity comes with tending. Dust gathers if neglected. And so it is with the soul.

The mirror sitting on my desk.

Image courtesy of Anthropologie.

Authenticity is not perfection. It is not always flawless alignment with our values. Authenticity is leading with our deepest Self—trusting the wisdom given to us in collaboration with the Divine. We can always return to the mirror, clear its surface, and listen again.

Know Thyself.

I know myself in many ways, and these ways shift with seasons and stories. We contain multitudes (Walt Whitman, paraphrased).

May I offer this blessing to you:

If you set out on a journey to your soul, may you find helpers along the way. May you gather resources and companions to guide you.

May you clear your mirror, face your dragons, and tether yourself to love in the void.

You are welcome here.
This path is yours and yours alone.

I will walk beside you.

Find your Mirror.

Tribue Honorem ⚔️

(In love and honor.)